Jealous

I'm jealous of Shel Silverstein. I'm jealous that one person could be creative enough to come up with an entire BOOK full of poems that people actually want to buy. I'm jealous that he can make poetry so simple and understandable yet so lovable. I'm jealous of his poem "Sick". My favorite kind of poetry is stuff that rhymes. I love rhyming. I just think there's such a flow to it and it's so easy to read no matter what age or how smart you are. I like the stories in his poetry. In sick the idea of a child trying to fool her parents that she's too sick to do anything, if it's school related or something the child doesn't necessarily love. But the second it is something she wants to do, like play on Saturday, little Peggy Ann McKay is just fine. We an all relate to this. Especially when I was younger I would pull this all the time. Even now sometimes on sunday with church.. and then after I don't go and I want to play with a friend, I'm miraculously healed ;)
I love poetry, and wish i was better at it.
So any poet, like Shel that has many of his poems published.. makes me jealous!

Complaints

I'm tired of YOU. I'm tired of fakers. I'm tired of "i love you" to my face and "i hate you" behind my back. I'm tired of liar. I'm tired of boyfriends, and ex-boyfriends. I'm tired  of being my parents experiment child, of being the oldest. I'm tired of the attendance policy. I'm tired of the bristles falling out of my toothbrush. I'm tired of boyfriends who either cheat, steal, lie, or drink. I'm tired of always paying for her. I'm tired of TL. I'm tired of high school, of my "group", of the people I pretend to like. I'm tired of always being so tired.

Love

Love scares me. My number one fear in life is marrying the wrong person. Im scared I'm going to marry a liar. Or marry someone like any of the people I've fallen in love with in high school. They were all SO wrong for me.. and I knew it. Not one of the people I've ever dated has had the qualities I want in the person I marry. but still, I think I fell in love with them. Actually, I guess I more fell in lust with them. ha. That's the difference. I fall for the physical a lot, or the social status or just the fun popular boys that make me laugh. I'm scared I'll get caught up in that again and marry someone like that...
I want to marry someone thats in love with me. real love. Someone that would never cheat on me, lie to me, and would do anything he could to make me happy. Someone that doesn't care that I have the most terrible curly hair in the morning, or that sometimes I act immature, or that I'm kinda dramatic..Someone that loves me for me, 100 percent. That's what love is. Giving yourself fully to a person. And being willing to sacrifice any and everything for their happiness, and always trying to be better for them. I want to marry someone that I don't have to change. Someone that is already just how I want them. A hard worker, a gentlemen, loves to be around my family, loves kids, makes jokes, loves movies, loves to laugh, is confident, disciplined, smart, strong in my religion, caring, generous and can deal with my temper and mood swings.
I'm scared of love. But i want it.. bad.

Facebook

The number one reason people Facebook, is to get attention. They post pictures, comments, or statuses.. to either get a reaction out of someone, or make whatever is fun and cool in their lives, seem even funner and cooler. "CRAZY NIGHT WITH MY BFF.. SO MUCH FUN!!"was once a post I observed, later to find out her and her "bff"  sat at home and watched the Notebook. hmm.. crazy. Last year, a picture was posted of me glaring at a girl that got 47 comments none of which were mine or the girl in the picture. It was strictly posted to get a reaction from people who like to involve themselves in others lives. 

Facebook creates soo much unnecessary drama, and comes with so many miscommunications. You can't hear a persons tone by just looking at there comment, so many people get offended by things they shouldn't. Jokes are taken seriously, small things are blown out of proportion, and many people say things way out of character that they would only feel comfortable saying hiding behind a screen. I've had many instant messaging conversations with people saying rude and hurtful comments that they never would have said to my face. 

Besides being a place to be someone your not, and up your cool.. Facebook is a sad, sad addiction. 

I know this because I was once addicted. 

Spending many many "homework hours" looking at  my friends, enemies, and even people I don't know.. I would come away feeling and talking about these people like I knew everything about them.

sigh..

Facebook. is. bad. news.